来自妈妈的爱 From mom, with love

recently, we challenged readers to write letters to their children, telling them about their hopes, dreams, fears and joys. here are five touching letters that inspire hope and reflection for us on mother’s day. these women — who share their love, pain and pride — remind us what a wonderful gift it is to be a mother.
a mother’s wish
i wish that i had spent more time playing with you and your toys than trying to clean them up.
i wish that when you hugged me i was not the first one to let go.

i wish i had gotten up early with you when you were younger.
i wish that i had spent more time listening and not judging.
i wish i had stopped trying to fight all your battles and just asked you what you wanted me to do.
i wish i had watched the movie when you asked instead of saying it is too late.
i wish i had told you more about myself.
i wish you had told me more about yourself.
i wish i knew what your friends knew, when you were alive.
i wish i had listened.
i wish i had talked less and
listened more.
i wish i had respected your
privacy.
i wish you could have known when you were alive how many people loved you.
i wish i realized how much you meant to others so that we could have shared that together.

i wish that when you wanted to do something i had just done it.
i wish i could have told your children stories about you.
i wish you could have shared stories with your children.
i wish that you could have grown old with your brother matt and talked about your parents
together.
i wish i could just hold you one more time.
i wish i had stopped when you asked and just let you be.
i wish you could have found some peace.
i wish that you can visit all the places that you planned.
i wish i could feel your little hand in mine once more.
i wish i could have enjoyed your photography with you and had it on my walls when you were alive.
i wish we could have spent more time in nature, as we both loved it.
i wish that you are happy, peaceful and causing some type of mischief somewhere.

i love you.
most parents have nine months to prepare for
a baby. plenty of time to buy a crib, compare infant car seats, find a
cute outfit or two.
deirdre and james pye had five days.
they had been married seven years, learned they could not have biological children, and put their names on a wait list for adoption in 1979.
then they waited. and waited. would it ever happen? the standing joke was that they should have signed up to adopt the day they were born.
the phone call that would change their lives finally came may 31, 1984. on june 5, they met baby kathleen.
having prepared mentally for the possibility for years, suddenly there was much to do logistically to prepare for their only daughter.
james pye was even the first man at his company to have a baby shower thrown for him.

“i wrote so many-thank you notes, i had writer’s cramp,” recalled deirdre pye. “it was just wonderful.”
“(adoption ) can enrich your life in ways you never ever ever expected.”
to my darling daughter:
you were my biggest challenge as now you are my greatest joy. adopting you changed my life and your father’s life forever and for the better. when i stop to think back, i often wonder what life would have been like without you. dull and boring, i suspect. you have brought us untold joy, as well as tears, worry and pride. all these are things i cherish about you.
what would life be without a daily laugh or a weekly crisis? dull and boring, i know!
what i really cherish is your love for us. you are 25 but you still like coming home. true, you bring everything with you. you take over the kitchen table, the bathroom and my credit card. on the other hand, we share tea, lunch out, coronation street and scrabble. who can beat that?!

you, my darling daughter, changed the direction of our lives. you changed our focus for the better. we became parents, we became better people. our horizons expanded and contracted all at the same time. we were praised by some people while others backed away. who needs negative people in their lives? since adopting you, there have been moments of heart-stopping joy and heart-stopping moments. that’s life — never dull or boring.
you are now an adult, on your own, and going along your own path. you are on your way to a great future. along the way, we’ve been as supportive as we could be of your choices and decisions. so far most of them have worked out on the plus side.
yes, your adoption was a big challenge. our greatest reward has been that you turned out to be the sort of daughter who has filled our hearts with love and pride.
biologically, you do not share our dna, but you do share our unconditional love.

you have always been an integral ingredient in our hearts, minds and souls. i love you, my darling daughter, more than words can say.
all my love forever,
mom
p.s. this letter would have been longer but tears got in the way!
karen filice makes you want to call your mom.
the 52-year-old stoney creek real estate agent lost her mother when she was 22, before she experienced motherhood herself.
“i’ve been without her now more than i’ve been with her.” she hears people complain about their mothers being around too much. complaining, when their mothers are alive and a phone call away.
“you idiots,” she thinks to herself. “you have no clue how lucky you are.”
she did her best as a young mom raising her three boys, christopher, matthew and james, now 27, 26 and 25. but it was hard not having her mom there. she couldn’t look at a picture of her without crying.

the letter, which her sons will read for the first time today, was something she thought about writing for a long time. she wanted to explain why she parented the way she did.
“i feel like i abandoned my kids too early. i know i didn’t (mean to) do it that way. writing that letter, i hope that they understand that i love them.”
to my darling children:
i lost my mom young and missed her terribly. when you, my first, were born, i had to turn over all the pictures i had of her because to see her made me cry and miss her more.
i love you all so much, but was so afraid of leaving you when you were young, that i distanced myself from you to make you tough — so that if i died young, you would not be as devastated as i was.
how stupid could i have been? you all know how much i love you — i have never held back telling you. i gave you a brain to think with, let you answer all your questions on your own, made you stand on your own two feet, but if i could do it again, i wouldn’t have separated myself from you when you were in your teens. i would have been there even more if i could do it again.

to my first, you were and are my sunshine and joy. you had the brunt of my being a new mom, trying to be perfect and learning with you along the way. you are the rebel, the one who has to do everything yesterday. you are strong and awesome in my eyes. you have determination and are not afraid to go after what you want. my advice to you with your girls — remember that the oldest is still young; let her be a little girl. i wish i hadn’t expected so much of you.
to my second, you were my bear. i was so afraid of miscarrying you that until you were born i did not want to think of you for fear of losing you. i fell in love with you when you were born. you were and are my quiet one, always observing and going about doing things your own way. i cannot believe how you have worked, developed a relationship, and graduated from college all on your own ticket! your quiet regard, your thoughtfulness, and your hugs are precious to me.

to my third — the imp who had to do everything that the others did without fear even though you were two years younger, your smiles mean the world to me. you were and are fearless. on your own, you worked your way through university, graduated, and have a full-time job — debt free! you are active, snowboard, skateboard, travel, maintain a relationship, and you are my keeper, always checking up to make sure i am ok.
boys — i think you know how much i love you. sometimes it hurts to look at you — i love you so much. i am so proud of you all.
love, your mom.
the angel never leaves her. it hangs around her neck, doesn’t comes off. sealed inside laurie northrup’s gold angel charm are the ashes of her only son, logan.
“it gives me comfort and peace,” she said. “if i get upset or something, sometimes i’ll just hold it. it’s like holding my son still, close to my heart.”

logan whittle, a boy she describes as a little gem, died aug. 15, 2006, of complications from cerebral palsy. he was almost 10.
she cares for other people’s children now, working at a hamilton day care since logan’s death. “i’m not there for the money. i’m there for the love of the children. they fill my heart.”
on most sundays, she and her husband also offer respite care for patrick, a 14-year-old boy who has autism and cerebral palsy. “he’s like a son,” she said.
living with logan, and now caring for patrick, has taught her an important life lesson. “quality of life is what you make it, not what you’re given.”
kissed by an angel
when a child is born into this world they are placed in the arms of their parents to be welcomed and begin bonding.

this is their birthday.
logan, your life began with a fight for life and you won, after 20 minutes without a heartbeat!
my life changed forever when you were diagnosed with cerebral palsy, and you had to depend on me for everyday survival.
as you began to grow and develop, you left a trail of memories and challenges that made me laugh and cry.
despite your limitations, you thought you were perfect, and to me and everyone else who knew you, you were.
eyes that shone, big and round, the colour of a sunflower.
your mischievous smile and how your belly rolled with laughter, or that quivering lip when you cried that always got you what you wanted and more.
as your learning became more intense you took me into your world to teach me how to understand your thoughts, your ways of loving and learning unconditionally.

you became my inspiration, made me whole, my life was complete by having you in it.
just before your tenth birthday you were found face down, no signs of life and no heartbeat.
at that moment you took a part of me with you.
the pain i thought would never go away, the guilt, relief and exhaustion were feelings i didn’t understand at the moment, but i knew you were in a better place.
since that day, many nights i awake with a chill and a wet smudge on my cheek.
i know i was kissed by an angel, my son logan.
you’re just a breath away, your short time on earth made it a better place.
october 26th, 1996, to august 15th, 2006.
you are in my heart forever, little man.
love and kisses,
mummy.
a daughter, with her growing belly, watched her mother being wheeled into surgery. “not now mom … hang on.”

a daughter-in-law, also pregnant, prayed for her survival too. “you can’t go anywhere.”
karen bettencourt remembers her oncologist laughing about the double family pregnancies. “i can see where you get your strength from.”
yes, the hope of watching grandkids grow is a lot to live for.
it’s been five years since 61-year-old bettencourt had her stomach removed to stop the spread of carcinoid tumours.
the hamilton mother of four, grandmother of 10, is also battling non-hodgkin lymphoma, another cancer that begins in the cells of the immune system. her doctor recently told her the cancer had spread to the liver and pancreas. bettencourt tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood.
“i tell you this and you’re still laughing,” the doctor replied. “or at least you’re trying.”

“what do you do, y’know?” said bettencourt. she pauses, then answers herself. “you fight.”
my dearest children and grandchildren,
i want to thank each of you for being the amazing, loving children you are.
i see how wonderfully you have grown into responsible, successful and warm-hearted people and i thank god for the opportunity to have spent time with each of you.
you have made me feel that my life has been worthwhile and fulfilling.
we never know what life is going to bring us, and i have been given the challenge of fighting cancer, but you all know how stubborn i am.
time is never long enough and i am fighting for as much as i can have.
i can never get enough of each of you and i discover something more amazing about each of you every time we visit.

life has been a real journey raising all four of you and now enjoying my 10 grandchildren, each one is so different and special in their own way.
i am finding it very hard to allow myself to think about leaving you and not being there for all your triumphs and ups and downs of life.
i want to be there to attend the graduations of my grandchildren and their weddings and babies.
i want you all to know that i am fighting as hard as i can and i value every new day with all of you.
please remember if i miss a game or a new accomplishment that i would have chosen to be there if i could.
always remember i love all of you more than the stars and more than you will ever know.
and remember, if you are ever given the chance to sit it out or dance, i hope you dance.
love always,
mom







最近，我们倡议读者写信给他们的子女，告诉他们自己的希望，梦想，恐惧和欢乐。在母亲节里，这里有五个母亲的感人来信，激起我们的希望与思考。这些妇女-分享了她们的爱，痛苦和骄傲-提示着我们成为一个母亲是一个多么美好的礼物。
**
母亲的愿望
我愿我花了更多的时间陪你玩那些玩具，而不是花时间整理它们。
我愿当你拥抱我时，我不是第一个放开的。
我愿在你年幼时我能起得早早的陪你。
我愿我花了更多的时间倾听，而不是评判。

我愿我停下来和你一道克服每一个困难，而只是问你，需要我做些什么。
我愿我如你所愿所去看了电影，而不是说时间已晚。
我愿我告诉你更多关于我的事情。
我愿你告诉了我更多关于你的自己。
我愿当你还活着时，我能够知道所有你朋友都知道的事。
我愿我听了。
我愿我说的很少
听你很多。
我愿我尊重了你的
隐私。
我愿你能知道，你活着时有那么多人爱着你。
我愿我已意识到你对他人意味着那么的多，让我们能够共同的分享。
我愿当你想做什么时，我已经做了。
我愿我能够告诉你的孩子们，有关你的故事。

我愿你能够和你的孩子们分享故事。
我愿你能与你的兄弟马特一起变老，一起谈论你的父母 。
我愿我能再多一次拥抱你。
我愿我没有制止你的要求，而是让你如愿以偿。
我愿你已找到了宁静。
我愿您现在可以访问所有你曾计划访问的地方了。
我愿我能感觉你的小手再一次握在我的手心。
我愿能够与你欣赏那张你挂在我墙上的照片。
我愿我们能花更多的时间徜徉于我们都热爱的大自然。
我愿你现在快乐，宁静，有时还是那么顽皮。
我爱你。

**
大多数家长都九个月的时间来为一个婴儿做准备 。

有足够的时间买婴儿床，比较哪一种婴儿汽车座椅更好，找到一两套漂亮的婴儿装。
而deirdre 和james 却只有五天的时间。
他们结婚已有七年，然后知道他们不能生孩子，于是就加入了1979年的排队领养名单。
然后他们就这样等啊，等啊。到底也没可能呢？他们常开玩笑说，早知道如此，不如在他们出生那天就去签署领养协议！
终于，在1984年5月31日，一个电话改变了他们的生活。 6月5日，他们见到了婴儿kathleen。
虽然在精神上做了多年的准备，但突然间为了他们唯一的女儿，还是有很多现实的工作要准备。
james pye甚至是他公司第一位有婴儿的人。
deirdre pye后来回忆说“我写了很多--谢谢你--的小纸条，写得手都发颤， 真是太美妙了。 ”

“ （领养）会以你意想不到的方式丰富你的生活 ”

我亲爱的女儿：
你是我最大的挑战，正如你现在是我最大的快乐。领养你，永远地改变了我和你父亲的生活，把我们的生活变得更为美好。当回想过去，我常常疑惑没有你的生活会是什么样子？会是沉闷和乏味，我怀疑！你已经给我们带来了难以言说的欢乐，泪水，担心和自豪。所有这一切让我格外的珍爱你。
如果没有每天的欢笑和每周的生气，生活会是怎样？沉闷和乏味，我知道！
我真正爱视的是你对我们的爱。你已经25岁了 ，但仍然喜欢回家。真的，你带来了一切。接管餐桌，清理浴室和检查我的信用卡。此外，我们共享午茶，外出就餐，逛街购物。如此幸福有谁能比？

你，我亲爱的女儿，改变了我们生活的方向，你使我们去追求更好。我们成为了父母，成为了更好的人。我们同呼吸共命运。
当其他人退缩时我们却到了人们的赞扬。谁会在他们的生活中拒绝别人？自从领养了你，就有了那么多因欢乐和担忧，和停止心跳的时刻。这就是生活，--永无沉闷或无聊！
你现在已长大成人，以你自己的方式，沿着你自己的道路。通往一个伟大的未来。一路上，我们一如既往的支持着你的选择和决定。而迄今为止，你大多数的努力已硕果初现。
是的，领养你是一个巨大的挑战。而我们最大回报，则是你成为一个女儿，已经用爱和自豪填满了我们的心。
生理上，你没有分享我们的dna ，但你分享了我们无条件的爱。

你一直是我们心中，我们的思想和灵魂中一个不可分割的组成部分。我爱你，我亲爱的女儿，没有任何语言可以表达！
永远爱你的，
妈妈
p.s.这封信将本应更长，但泪水，已将其阻断！

***

52岁的房地产经纪人stoney creek，在22岁的时候失去了母亲，那是在她自己成为母亲之前。
"烦死了，我到情愿没有母亲" 当她听到人们抱怨自己的母亲如何干涉太多，或者当他们打电话给母亲时总听她没完没了的抱怨。 她会说“你真是个大傻瓜，你不知道自己有多幸运！”
像所有年轻的妈妈，她尽全力抚养她的三个儿子，christopher, matthew and james,现在分别是27 ， 26和25 。但由于没有妈妈在身边，这对她来说是一段相当困难的日子，以至于她一看见母亲的照片就要哭泣。

她很长一段时间来一直想写这封信，想解释为什么当初，她要那么严厉的对待孩子。 她的儿子们也将在今天第一次读到。
“我觉得我放手太早了。但我内心并没有（想）这样做。所以写了这封信，希望他们能明白我爱他们。 “
致我亲爱的孩子：
我在年轻的时候失去了妈妈，而且我非常的思恋她。当我第一次当母亲时，我不得不把所有她的照都收起来，以免看到这些照片我又要哭泣，更加思恋。
我太爱你们了，同时也十分害怕在你们还年幼时失去我，所以我刻意保持距离让你们日子难过--这样一旦我去世，你们会就不会象我一样备受摧残。
我这样做是不是太愚蠢了？虽然我从来没有告诉你们，但大家都知道我是多么爱你们。我让你们用自己的大脑进行思

考，让你们用自己的方式回答你们的所有问题，让你们自立。但如果我能重新来过，我不会让自己在你们十几岁时就疏离
你们。如果我再来一次，我会选择呆在一起，甚至更多。
我的老大，你是我的阳光和欢乐。你让我第一次成为妈妈，使我不断努力以求完善，并与你一块学习进步。你是个造反派，
一个凡事要求完美的人，在我眼里是那么坚强而威武。你果断，无所不畏惧地跟随着自己的愿望。我对你和你女友的忠告
是，--记住，人再老也年轻，始终要把她当一个小女孩。但愿我对你的希望不算过分。
我的老二，你是我的负担。我是如此害怕失去你以致到你出生，我都因为害怕失去你而不去想你。你一生下来我就爱上了

你。不论过去现在你都是最安静的一个，总是按自己的方式去观察和行事。我到现在也不能相信你是怎样做到的，从工
作，建立关系，到大学毕业一路都靠自己打拼！您的安静注视，你的体贴，和你的拥抱，对我都无比珍贵。
我的老三-一个做什么事都不知畏惧的小鬼头，即使你只有两岁，你的微笑对于我就意味了整个的世界。你过去和现在都
无所畏惧。你通过自己的劳动，考取大学，毕业，并有了一个全职的工作-而且没有债务！您活跃，滑雪，滑板，旅行，保持
关系，你是我的守护者，总是随时检查，确保我ok没事。
男孩们-我想你们知道我有多爱你们。我是如此爱你们--以致有时看着你们，会感到一种痛。我为你们感到骄傲。

爱你们的妈妈。

**
天使从来没离开过laurie northrup，它一直挂她的脖子上。
那个漂亮的金色天使里面密封着她的独生子-logan-的骨灰。
“如果我生气或遇其他不高兴的事， ”她说。 “只要握住它，就会让我感到舒服和宁静。就像我仍然握住我的儿子，在靠近
我心的地方。 “
logan whittle，一个小宝石样的男孩，8月15日，2006年，在他近10岁时，死于脑瘫并发症。
自从logan去世后，laurie更关心别的孩子，她现在在汉密尔顿做日托工作 “我在那儿不是为了钱，我爱那些孩子。他们填补了我的心。 “
大多数的周日，她和她的丈夫会对patrick提供间隙照顾， patrick是个14岁患有孤独症和脑瘫的男孩。 “他就像我的儿子， ”她说。

和logan在一起，现在照顾patrick的经历，告诉她一个生命的重要启示。 “有质量的生命是看你做了什么，而不是拥有什
么”
天使之吻
当一个孩子出生在这个世界上，被放置在父母的臂湾受到欢迎，并一起开始共同的课程。
这时就是他们共同的生日。
洛根，你的生命开始于一场你自己的生命之战，在出生 20分钟还没有心跳之后！
当你被诊断为脑萎缩时，我的生活就永远地改变了。你每一天的生存都依赖着我。
当你开始成长，和发展时，留下的片段回忆和挑战让我笑了，而后又哭了起来。
尽管你有所受限，但你认为你是完美的，而我和其他人所有认识你的人也都是这样认为，是的，你是。

晶亮的眼睛，又大又圆,那是一种向日葵的颜色。
你那淘气的微笑，以及不知怎么从腹部发出来的笑声，和当你哭泣时颤抖的嘴唇，总是让你如愿以偿，或得到更多。
当你的学习更加强烈时你会把我引到了你的世界，教我如何理解你的想法，你的方式，怎样无条件地对待爱和学习。
你是我的灵感，我的全部，我的生命因有了你而完满。洛根。
就在你的十岁生日前，你被发现面部朝下，没有生命迹象，也没有心跳。
那一刻起你就带走了我一部分的生命。
那种痛，我想今生永远都无法摆脱了，那种当时复杂的情绪让我迷惑，但我知道，你是到了一个更好的地方。
从那一天起，有很多的夜里，我被寒冷和遗留脸颊的润湿弄醒。

我知道我是被天使吻了，一个天使，我儿子洛根。
你离我，仅是一口气的距离，洛根。你在世间停留的时间虽短却使它因你而更好。
1996年10月26日--2006年8月15日。
你永远在我心中，小伙子。
爱和吻
妈咪。

**
一个女儿，她的肚子越来越大，看着她的母亲被推向手术。 “不要现在，妈妈...千万挺住。 ”
一个同样怀孕的媳妇，也在祈求她的平安。 “你可哪都不能去啊。 ”
karen bettencourt清楚记得她身患癌症面对双喜临门时的笑声。 “我知道你从哪里来的力量。 ”
是啊，希望能看着孙儿们的成长，是活着的强大动力。

自从61岁的bettencourt切掉胃制止了癌肿瘤的转移，到现在已经五年过去了。
这位汉密尔顿有着4个孩子，10个孙儿的母亲， ，也是非霍奇金淋巴瘤(-non-hodgkin lymphoma)的抗争者，但另一种癌
症细胞已开始入侵了免疫系统。她的医生最近告诉她，癌症已经扩散到了肝脏和胰腺。 bettencourt试图开玩笑减轻情
绪。
“我告诉您这点，而您仍然说笑， ”医生回答。 “ 或者，至少您是在试着说笑。 ”
“您知道您能做什么吗？ ”bettencourt说 。她暂片刻，然后自己回答道。 “战斗。 ”

我最亲爱的孩子和孙儿们:
我想感谢你们，可爱的孩子们，你们每一个都是那么美妙。

我看见你们是如何奇妙地长大成人，成为有责任的，成功的和善良的人，我感谢上帝能赐予我机会与你们每一个共度时光。
你们让我感到我的生命的价值和意义。
我们永远不知道我们下一步的生活怎样，我在挑战着癌症，你们都知道我是何等的顽固。
时间永远都不会足够长，但我会尽力争取。
我也永远不满足与你们相处的时间，每一次，我都会发现你们每一个的更多奇妙之处。
生命是一个真正的旅程，把你们四个抚养长大，而现在享受着10孙子绕膝之乐，你们每一个人都是如此不同，都那么独具
个性。
一想起会离开你们，不再参与你们所有的胜利狂欢和跌宕起伏的生活，我就会非常难过。

我想亲临我孙子们的参加毕业典礼自现场，想参加他们的婚礼，看他们的婴儿....
我想你们都知道，我尽力奋战;因为我珍惜每个新的一天能与你们大家在一起。
请提醒我，如果我闯关失败或取得新的成绩，如果我可以我当然会选择后者。
但永远记住:我爱你们所有人，超过天上的星星，超过你们的想象。
同时请记住:如果你们有机会选择呆坐还是跳舞，我希望你们跳舞。
总是爱你们的，
妈妈
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