真爱的含义(1)—杰拉德科里(中英对照)

Love means that I know the person I love.I am aware of the many sides of the other person not just the beautiful sides but also the limitations,inconsistencies and flaws.I have an awareness of the other's feelings and thoughts,and I experience aomething of the core of that person.I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other on a deeper level.
爱意味着我了解我所爱的人，我知道那个人的方方面面——不仅仅是美好的一面，而且也包括他能力所限，言行不一和有其他缺点的一面。我知道那个人的思想和情感，我体验到那个人身上的某种本质的东西；我能透过对方在社交场合的表现和在社会上所担当的角色，看到他更内在的东西。
Love means that I can care about the welfare of the person I have.To the extent that it is genuine,my caring is not smothering of the person or a possessive thing.On the contrary ,my caring liberates both of us.If I care about you,I am concernedabout your growth,and I hope you will become all that you can become.Consequently ,I don't put up roadblocks to what you do that enhances you as a person,even though it may result in my discomfort at times.
爱意味着我关心我所爱的人的幸福。只要我的关心是真诚的，我的关心对我所爱的人就不会是一种压制，也不会是一种占有性的依附。相反，我的关心使我们两人都获得解放。因此，对你为完善自己人格所做的一切，我决不设置障碍，即使你做的事情有时会让我不舒服。
Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love.If I love you ,I can see you as a separate person,with your own values and thoughts and feelings,and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me.I can allow you and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are,and I avoid you as an object or using your primarily to gratify my own needs.
爱意味着尊重我所爱的人的人格尊严。如果我爱你，我就会把你看成是一个独立的人，你有你自己的价值观，有你自己的思想和感情，我不会要你放弃你的特性，而为了我把你自己塑造成我期望你成为的那种人；我能够允许并鼓励你独立自主，保持你的特性，这样我就不会把你当作一件东西来对待，不会让你把主要精力放在来满足我自己的需要。
Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love.If I love you,I am responsive to most of your major needs as a person.This responsibility does not entail my doing for you what are capable of doing for yourself,nor does it mean that I run your life for you.It does imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affect you,so that I that I am directly involved in your happiness and your misery.A lover does does have the capacity to hurt or neglect the loved one,and in this sense I see that love entails an acceptance of some responsibility for the impact my way of being has on me.
爱意味着对我所爱的人有一种责任感。如果我爱你，我就对你作为人的大多数的主要需求有反应。这 个责任不等于我替你做你自己能够做的事情。也不意味着我管理你的生活。但是它确实意味着我的为人和我的所作所为对你有影响，因此我直接与你的幸福和痛苦有关。一个爱别人的人确实可能会伤害或忽视所爱之人，从这个意义上说，爱意味着我要对我的生方式对你的影响承担一定的责任。
Love means growth for both myself and the person I love.If I love you.I am grawing as a result of my love.You are a atimulant for me to become more fully what I might become ,and my loving enhances your beings as well.We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for ,we each share in an enriching that does not detract from being.
爱意味着我自己和我所爱的人共同成长。如果我爱你，我也会因为爱你而发展，你激励我成为更加充实的人，我对你的爱也提高你的素质。我们俩都因彼此相爱而成长，我们的这种关系使双方都感到更加充实，又丝毫不削弱我们自己的特性。
Love means making a commitment to the person I love.This commitment does not entail surrendering our total selves to each other,nor does it imply that relationship is necessarily permanent.IT DOES ENTAIL A willingness to stay with each other in times of pain,uncertainty,struggle,and despair,as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.
爱意味着对我所爱的人作出一种承诺。这种承诺并不需要我们相互放弃自身的特性，也不表示我们的这种关系一定是永久的关系。这种承诺既包含愿意在痛苦时刻，在犹豫时刻，在斗争时刻和绝望时刻相互支持，也包含共享平静和欢乐的时刻。
Love mean trusting the person I love .If I love you,I trust you will accept my caring and my love and that you won't deliberately hurt me.I trust that you will find me lovable and that you won't abandon me;I trust the reciprocal nature of our love.If we trust each other,we are willing to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal our true selves.
爱意味着信任我所爱的人。如果我爱你，我相信你会接受我的关心和爱恋，而不会故意伤害我。我相信你会发现我很可爱而不会抛弃我；我相信我们之间的爱将惠及对方。如果我们相互信任，我们就愿意相互敞开我们的心扉，我们就能够去掉假面具，去掉伪装，显示我们的真面貌。
Love can tolerate imperfection.In a lave relationship there are times of boredom,times when I many feel like giving up,times of real strain,and times I experience an impasse.Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness .I can stay during rough times,however,because I can remember what we had togrther in the past,and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care though to face our problems and work them through.
爱可以容忍不完美。在爱的关系中，必然有厌烦的时候，有我想放弃的时候，有十分紧张的时候，有我感到没有出路的时候。真正的爱并不意味着永远快乐。我之所以能够在困难 时期和你在一起'是因为我记得我们过去共 同度过的时光；是因为我能够想象，如果我们对问题予以足够的视，并因此能够面对问题而且度过这个时期，我们将来在一起的时候会是什么样子。