欧内斯特海明威致 父亲（ C E 海明威）中英双语

hendaye，france，14 september 1927
dear dad：
亲爱的爸爸：
thanks very much for your letter and forforwarding the letter to uncle tyley.i had a goodletter from him yesterday.you cannot know howbadly i feel about having caused you and mother somuch shame and suffering——but i could not writeyou about all of my and hadley's troubles even if itwere the thing to do.it takes two weeks for a letterto cross the atlantic and i have tried not totransfer all the hell i have been through to anyoneby letter.i love hadley and i love bumby——hadley and i split up——i did not desert her norwas i committing adultery with anyone.i wasliving in the apartment with bumby——lookingafter him while hadley was away on a trip and itwas when she came back from this trip that shedecided she wanted the definite divorce.we arranged everything and there was no scandal andno disgrace.our trouble had been going on for along time.it was entirely my fault and it is no one's business.i have nothing but love admirationand respect for hadley and while we are busted upi have not in any way lost bumby.he lived withme in switzerland after the divorce and he iscoming back in november and will spend thiswinter with me in the mountains.
非常感谢您的来信以及您转来的泰莱叔叔的来信。我昨天也收到了一封他好心写来的信。您也许不知道，我对我自己给您和母亲带来如此多的羞辱和痛苦而深感不安——但我不可能把我和哈德利之间的问题全部写信告诉您，即使这是我应该做的事。跨越大西洋的信得走两个星期，而且我努力不要把我所经历过的极大痛苦通过书信转移给任何人。我爱哈德利和本比——哈德利和我离婚了——我没有遗弃她，也没有与任何人通奸。我和本比住在一所公寓里——哈德利外出旅行时我照看他。正是当她旅行归来时，她决定与我离婚。我们安排好了一切，没有流言蜚语，也没有耻辱。我们之间的问题已持续了很长时间。这全是我的过错，不关别人的事。我对哈德利只有敬仰和尊重，当我们的婚姻破裂时，我无论如何不能失去本比。离婚后，我和本比居住在瑞士，他11月份将回来与我在山里度过冬季。

you are fortunate enough to have only been inlove with one woman in your life.for over a year ihad been in love with two people and had beenabsolutely faithful to hadley.when hadley decidedthat we had better get a divorce the girl with whomi was in love was in america.i had not heard fromher for almost two months.in her last letter shehad said that we must not think of each other butof hadley.you refer to“love pirates，”“personswho break up your home etc.”and you know that iam hot tempered but i know that it is easy to wishpeople in hell when you know nothing of them.ihave seen，suffered，and been through enough sothat i do not wish anyone in hell.it is because i donot want you to suffer with ideas of shame anddisgrace that i now write all this.we have not seenmuch of each other for a long time and in themeantime our lives have been going on and therehas been a year of tragedy in mine and i know youcan appreciate how difficult and almost impossibleit is for me to write about it.
您很幸运，您在一生中只爱过一个女人。在一年多的时间里，我同时爱上两个人，但我始终完全地忠实于哈德利。当哈德利决定我们最好离婚时，我爱的那个女子正在美国。我已近两个月没有收到她的来信了。在她的最后一封信中，她说，我们不能只考虑彼此，而应该替哈德利考虑。您提到“爱情掠夺者”、“破坏你的家庭的人”等等，您知道我脾气急躁，但我知道，当你不了解别人时很容易诅咒别人进地狱，而我已经目睹了、遭受了并经历了极大的痛苦，因此我不会诅咒别人进地狱。正是因为我不希望您蒙受耻辱和不体面之苦，现在我才给您写这一切。我们已有很长时间没有见面了，而同时我们的生活都在继续，悲剧发生在我的身上已有一年了，我知道您能懂得，对我来说写出这一切有多么困难，几乎无法表达。

after we were divorced if hadley would havewanted me i would have gone back to her.she saidthat things were better as they were and that wewere both better off.i will never stop lovinghadley nor bumby nor will i cease to look afterthem.i will never stop loving pauline pfeiffer towhom i am married.i have now responsibility toward three people instead of one.please understand this and know that it doesn't make iteasier to write about it.i do understand how hardit is for you to have to make explanations andanswer questions and not hear from me.i am arotten correspondent and it is almost impossible forme to write about my private sffairs.withoutseeking it——through the success of my books——all the profits of which i have turnedover to hadley——both in america，england，germany and the scandinavian countries——because of all this there is a great deal of talk.i payno attention to any of it and neither must you.ihave had come back to me stories people have toldabout me of every fantastic and scandalous sort——all without foundation.these sorts ofstories spring up about all writers——ball players——popular evangelists or any publicperformers.but it is through the desire to keep myown private life to myself——to give no explanations to anybody——and not to be a publicperformer personally that i have unwittingly caused you great anxiety.the only way i couldkeep my private life to myself was to keep it tomyself——and i did owe you and mother a statement on it.but i can't write about it all thetime.
我们离婚后，如果哈德利还需要我，我是会回到她身边去的。但她说一切都好转了，我们俩人的境况都很好。我将永远不会停止对哈德利和本比的爱，也不会停止照料他们。我也永远不会停止对与我结合的波琳·法伊弗的爱。我现在是对三个人而不是只对一个人负有责任，请您理解这一切，并理解我写出这一切也很不容易。我确实明白，对您来说，不得不向别人解释和回答提问，却又收不到我的信，这是多么困难。我是个不会写信的人，对我来说，把我的私事写出来几乎是不可能的。没有刻意追求——由于我的作品的成功——我转给哈德利的所有收益——包括美国、英国、德国、斯堪的纳维亚半岛上的国家——因为这一切，又引起了许多流言蜚语。我不在意这些闲话，您也不必在意。我已经回到了原来的自己，人们所谈论的关于我的每一个虚假的、流言蜚语类的故事，都是没有根据的。这类故事出现在每一个作家、运动员、受欢迎的福音传道士及任何演员的身上。但由于我渴望使自己的私人生活属于我自己，因此，我没有对任何人解释，我个人不愿成为演员以至于无意中给您带来了巨大的焦虑。唯一使我的个人生活只属于自己的办法就是把它保留给自己——我的确应该向您和母亲说明这件事，但我不能总是写信谈论它。

i know you don't like the sort of thing i writebut that is the difference in our taste and all thecritics are not fanny butcher.i know that i am notdisgracing you in my writing but rather doingsomething that some day you will be proud of.ican't do it all at once.i feel that eventually my lifewill not be a disgrace to you either.it also takes along time to unfold.
我知道您不喜欢我写的这类作品，但这是我们的品味的不同，而且并非所有的评论家都是范妮·布彻这种人。我知道我没有在我的作品中使您蒙受耻辱，而是做了一件将来会使您引以为自豪的事。我不可能立刻使您感到自豪。我觉得最终我的生活将不会给您带来耻辱。这需要很长的时间才能显示出来。
you would be so much happier and i would too if you could have confidence in me.when people ask about me，say that ernie never tells usanything about his private life or even where he isbut only writes that he is working hard.don't feelresponsible for what i write or what i do.i take theresponsibility，i make the mistakes and i take thepunishment.
如果您相信我，您会感到快乐得多，我也会感到快乐得多。当人们问起我，您就说欧尼从来不告诉我们他的个人生活，甚至不告诉我们他在哪里，而只写信说他在努力工作。您不必为我所写的和我所做的负责。我自己负一切责任，如果我犯了错误，我会接受惩罚。
爱您的，欧尼
于法国，亨戴
1927年9月14日